The Epitome of Stupidity...

I saw one of the stupidest stunts I have ever witnessed in all my years of driving, today on my way home from work. A guy on a rice rocket zips around me to be first in line at the light. He pulls up tight to the dual wheel 1-ton Ford pick up there and shakes hands with the driver through his window. They are chatting while the light is red and appear to know each other. The light changes and the two morons start dragging up a road with a 35 mph speed limit. If I figure it right, they got up to around 50 and then started weaving in and out of the cars they caught up to. The truck fish tailed twice in traffic then finally slowed and turned off.

I rode a bike for years and plan on riding again in the future and this dullard with his toy p.o.s. instantly put back rider's reputations 20 years with his idiotic maneuvers. Some people shouldn't be on the road and I blame their parents. If they had cable and less time to make babies, he wouldn't be on the road acting like an ass and endangering other people's lives. This goes double for the asshole in the Ford, with 10 times the mass of the bike traveling the same speed, weaving in and out of traffic and barely in control.

I have an extremely low tolerance for idiots on the road. I spent years driving around this country in everything from an 18 wheeler to a pick up and trailer rig to a service van. I have seen the dummies and they abound everywhere.

It's been awhile...

It has been some time since I've had the opportunity and inclination to sit down and type out a post on here. Well, it hasn't been all that long since I sat down but the typing thing is spot on. When I began this blog, I was working as an online article writer and had the extra time to devote to writing some of my own things along with working. Since then, my life has taken a left turn and put me back into the real world and into a real job so my writing time has been cut down due to plain old lack of motivation.

While this post is mainly to say I will be back on and writing at least once a week (on Saturdays) to help maintain my sanity, I know I have a few people that actually check this to see if I have posted anything new. This next line is for them...

NEW

Until next week and something with a little more substance, this is The Wise Lemur, saying, " Try and sleep with your eyes open...you're missing some pretty interesting stuff."

Social Networking...Thoughts and Observations...

The Internet has brought together literally thousands of people for absolutely no good reason. I speak particularly of websites like Face Book, Twitter, Tagged and MySpace, just to name a few. Now don't get me wrong, many people have found that these pages work to their advantage, sharing pictures and blurbs with family and friends that they actually know and are simply too far a away to make physical visits a frequent reality. I speak of those that add people simply to see how many "friends" or "followers" that can get and when one or two drop off, they spend hours reviewing their lists to see exactly who it is.

I look over Face Book, yes, I'm guilty of having a page there and see people with hundreds of friends on their lists. To what purpose I ask myself, are they adding everyone under the sun that asks? I can see if there is a common interest buried in the reasoning but there should be a limit to what some people should add. For those that follow celebrities and the like, do you really need to know that their dog just did something cute or that they really, really like a local restaurant's mushroom soup?

Is this some cry for help, a deep seated need to be popular due to some missed experience in high school? Turned down for the cheer leading squad, didn't get to play pro ball after high school or simply a "Look at me, look at me" type of thing going on. I am truly unsure as to why people feel the need to add anyone and I do mean ANYONE, to their personal pages.

Twitter is another of my favorites in that you can follow just about anyone you like without them ever knowing you exist. They will send out a brief message letting the world know they ran out of toilet paper and have to run to the store. If they happen to be famous...45 people will reply back that they have a spare roll for them, 63 more of their followers will say they'll run the errand for them and 100+ will re tweet it in case the rest of the world may have missed the post. Tragedy averted with the help of their Tweeps, for sure!

Since the advent of Face Book, you hear very little of MySpace and its millions of users. They have fallen prey to the dreaded "competition of websites" on the Internet. They of course, don't have Farmville, Mafia Wars or Zynga, which obviously were the main causes of death for the one of the pioneers in social networking sites.

These websites seem to have found their niche in our society, bringing millions of people together that may have otherwise never met. But have they actually met yet? If the additions are simply names and pictures on a website, how much do you actually know about those that you add?

That picture of the hot girl in the low cut top could just as well be a 55 year old man who thinks it is funny as hell you are coming on to a pic he ripped off the net from his favorite porn site. The 15 year old boy on your daughters page could be a 35 year old registered sex offender ripping his Internet service from a local Burger King. The anonymity of the Internet allows many people to toy with others for whatever reasons they may come up with, which is usually a deep seated need to make themselves feel better due to serious low self-esteem issues.

A friendly reminder from your ever watchful neighborhood Lemur. Add those you know or at least, know of. You never know what you may be getting yourself into. Until next time...

Quadjacks.com/WombatNation

I've had the unique privilege of being a guest panelist on the Wombat Nation's radio broadcast on Quadjacks.com the past few days. I would like to thank Marco and SryslySirius for having me. They have a great bunch of people over there imparting not only breaking poker news but also just having a general good time.

I highly recommend a visit to the live broadcast. As I write this they are on Day 21 of a non-stop broadcast and still going strong. The site allows visitors to participate in the chat along with the panel in asking questions and discussing a wide variety of topics.

http://www.justin.tv/quadjackslive#/w/1165793904/9

Take some time and stop by. You'll be glad you did.

Best Video Ever!

bin Laden is Gone...Too Bad...So Sad...Not.

Ok since the topic of the moment in the death of Osama bin Laden, figured I better say something. Good, he's gone. The problems he caused and perpetuated are not.

Celebrate briefly, world, but do not relax your vigilance. They are plenty of nutcases out there still that need to be dealt with. This is particularly true about the ones waiting to hop in bin Laden's empty spot.

Enjoy it for now but never think that all the terrorist problems are gone because one moron is dead. There were more before him and there will be plenty after him. The biggest tragedy is that the stand up comedians and comedy writers will now have to search elsewhere for some of the funniest shit out there.

I refer particularly to the South Park episode where the boys go over to Afghanistan and are captured by bin Laden. In the classic Bugs Bunny tradition, Cartman causes bin Laden no end of trouble. Possibly one of the best ideas to ever hit a story board. Thanks Guys!

Horror and Sci-Fi Movie Formulas and Fables...

As an avid horror and sci-fi movie buff, I see quite a few movies over the course of a week. Some are new and some are old favorites but they all have a few things in common that make them blend together into one huge lump. The writers of these scripts have seen the exact same movies as I have and simply cannot seem to expand their thought processes past the "formulas" that worked in the past. Here are a few thoughts on this from my end.

1: "The Black Guy Always Dies First": This little tidbit has been used so much that some movies even poke fun at this plot line before they actually kill them off. They need to start killing off one of the cute chicks first just to throw in a curve ball once in awhile. The whiny one one is always a good start in my book.

2: "The First To Die": Always seems to be one of the girls. Quit killing off the one with the biggest boobs, go for the one with the glasses, 3 layers of clothing and the backpack full of books that really didn't want to be there in the first place. Kill the boobs, kill the movie as the majority of male viewers will not bother to stick around after she's dead to see if she ends up in a bikini or shower scene before being brutally butchered.

3: "Spare The Child": There is always a little kid in these things that manages to escape a bloody end where all those around them are dying like flies at a frog festival. "Feast" took this to a new level when the boy gets eaten right at the outset of the movie. Kudos to the writers on that one as they just tend to whine, cry and scream a lot while the killer is busy dismembering Mom anyway.

4: "The Unlikely Hero/Heroine": For once, I would like to see the guy or girl with the balls at the outset actually make it through the movie as the winner. Quit picking the mousy one or the geek to save the day. The odds of this actually happening in a real situation are as unlikely as a high school chess club winning the Superbowl.

5: "Dress For Success": The wardrobe people work very hard on a film set to aid the actor in fitting their part. Why is it though that lately, every movie I see involving a female scientist has them in a tank top. No offense to the scientific community but let's be a little more realistic in this vein. Most female scientists do NOT have the body of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and the addition of a bit more realism may keep some of the chuckles down when she actually says something intelligent during the movie.

6: "Armed And Dangerous": People are dying all around and the hero or heroine finally gets the upper hand on the killer by whacking them in the head with the only shovel for a hundred miles. Now, the killer has been stabbed, shot, hit by a car and fell out of a two-story window by this point and just keeps coming. So why, oh why, do they think that one whack on the head is going to keep him down forever and throw the friggin' shovel away??? The same goes for finding the only gun in the place, firing one shot into the would be monster and setting the gun down to check on a fallen comrade and leaving it there. One phrase people..."Coup de Grace", lop his friggin' head off with the business end of that shovel for God's sake.

7: "Knowledge Is Power": Common sense rarely prevails in horror and sci-fi movie scripts. This is okay though, it does make them more entertaining but some of the plot twists are simply too stupid for words. Don't open the friggin' door when there is a suspected serial killer in the area. Don't open the kitchen cabinet door when there are scratching noises coming from inside and if there is a green glow emanating from the underside of the bedroom door...go the other freaking way! While these do make the movie more fun to watch, a thinking hero or heroine might make the real twists that much more believable.

I realize that some of the things I mentioned here will never change and that's okay. They have worked for this long, so why fix something if it is not broken? We live in a society with a much higher range of intelligence than 60 years ago when horror and sci-fi was just getting off the ground. It is time the writers stepped up to our level by incorporating a few more intelligent plot twists into these movies. A hero that keeps the gun in hand or one that actually checks to see if the killer is really dead on occasion might be nice and there is nothing wrong with some gratuitous nudity or a cheesy two headed alien either.

Water for Elephants...and Hay...and Grain...and Everything Else...

I severely dislike ignorance before I've had my first pot of coffee for the day so I felt the need to put this out there. Hollywood's newest release, Water for Elephants, is out now and I was just reading a small bit over on Yahoo regarding "Taj", the elephant used for the movie. The comments from the so called "animal lovers" that decried the use of her for the film and how poorly show animals are treated are fucking laughable.

This is a subject near and dear to my heart as in my younger years, I had the incredible opportunity to travel with circuses around the country in many capacities including working with a wide variety of exotic animals. To the morons that believe that for one second, these animals get mistreated as a rule, I say...Go Fuck Yourselves, You Clueless Morons!

The majority if not all of the show animals out there, whether in Hollywood or on circuses were BORN in captivity, not brought over from Africa or Asia in the prime of their lives and "forced" into performing. They are raised by the trainer from a very young age and treated as a member of the family. They are given the best medical care money can buy along with being fed and housed year round and protected from anything and everything, much as a parent would do for a young child.

I personally know Buckles Woodcock, Benny Williams, John Marone and Mike Stone, just to name a few of the great elephant trainers I have met over the years. These men care as much for their elephants as they do for their own families and would NEVER allow harm to come to them. The elephants also have their own way of handling being mistreated.

I know of one instance where a groom with little experience was working near an elephant and had occasion to hit her with a shovel out of spite. Well, the saying is quite true that "an elephant never forgets" as months later, he was around her and she pulled the stake that had her on the line. She chased him around the trailer she was in front of, pinned him to it and broke his arm. He never hit her again nor any of the others to the best of my knowledge.

Elephants are probably one of the most royally treated of the show animals as they are more easily approached by humans. I have had the occasion to give an elephant a pedicure, a bath and even a haircut in my years on the road. They are staked out and chained while touring not to protect humans from them but to protect them from humans.

To the dullards who think that show animals are abused and held against their will..please look at your own life. You think you have freedom and they don't? You are chained to a job, taxes and responsibility whereas they work about two hours a day and have all their needs met in return with no worries at all by a bevy of grooms, family members and owners.

Before you go spewing off your rhetoric about "how bad their life must be", try living around them for a few years. I guarantee your tune will change.

Finally some good news...

http://www.justice.gov/usao/nys/pressreleases/April11/pokerdomainnameuseagreementspr.pdf

Looks like the DOJ figured out how many US online poker player really got hurt when Black Friday hit. They are re-opening the .com domains for Full Tilt Poker and Poker Stars to facilitate the players getting their funds returned to them. While this does nothing to forward the legalization of online poker we all hope for, at least it's a start.

Black Friday for Online Poker Players

Thanks to the infinite wisdom of the US Gov't and the F.B.I., today will be forever known as the "Black Friday" of online poker. 11 indictments were handed down today against the owners of the "Big Three' poker websites (PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker and Ultimate Bet/Absolute Poker)and all funds for American players frozen. Not only can the players not continue to pursue their hobby or livelihood but they cannot ever get to their own money.

We can only hope that the websites find a solution to allowing players to at least get back what they have online even if play gets stopped completely. There are literally millions upon millions of dollars in online poker accounts and many players pay their bills with these funds. The audacity of this action against the American people is deplorable.

How dare the US Gov't and it's minions tell taxpaying citizens what they can and cannot with their own money? The government gets more than its fair share from each and every one of them and still feels the need for more. This is bullshit, plain and simple.

Had they bothered to regulate Internet gaming last year when the bill came up, this would all be a non-issue. People can still gamble every day without leaving the comfort of their homes. There are websites that allow folks to invest in stocks...which is a gamble online. They can go to their local convenience store and blow their whole check on lottery tickets if they so desire.

Most people live close enough to go to a local casino and lose their home and this is seen as ok by many...as long as the government gets their cut in taxes. New York has OTB...Florida has dog tracks...Kentucky has horse racing...all of these are just fine..if that's they way you want to lose your money. Poker, whether online or live is NOT GAMBLING as there is a level of skill involved.

Slot machines are gambling, roulette is gambling and blackjack is gambling because the player has no effect on the outcome where in poker, it is the PLAYER that makes the choices of what to play and when. While the cards being shuffled do add the element of chance into the game, ultimately it falls to the player whether or not to play their hand and whether or not they can outright beat or bluff their opponent. Poker is a psychological game of cards, not just putting your money up and hoping the outcome is in your favor.

With any luck, this action will propel the US Gov't into making a real decision on the fate of online poker. The players will unite against the powers that be and their voice will be heard. Whether the officials in DC like it or not.

Back in the Saddle Again...lol

To those few that bother to read this little disaster...I'm back! Been concentrating way too much on work and not enough on having some fun so need to change that. I'll be posting here weekly from now on with little bits of things that may or may not be relevant to anything either real or imagined.

Merry F**kin' Xmas to All...

It's Christmas morning and all through the house, not a creature is stirring; not even a mouse...so now I really have no clue what I'm making for Christmas dinner...I was counting on that mouse for stew or at least soup...geez.

No fat bastard in a red suit came down my chimney during the night. Not sure if it was the barbed wire on the roof or the bear trap on the grate that deterred him but anyway you look at it, he didn't even try. What kinda guy, I ask you, lets a few little obstacles stop him from doing the one thing he has to do all year???

Now there's a job I'd like...actually work one day a year other than in a supervisory capacity the rest of the time. House costs nothing cause no one else would want to live there anyway and the slave labor force he has pretty much handles everything for him. You know he has them doing everything from making the toys to polishing his boots to cleaning up reindeer shit when they go on the carpet.

They can't go anywhere either...he probably holds their green cards ( being elves, the cards have to be green) and ensures their loyalty that way along with the occasional beating or bottle of spiked egg nog. Where would they go....really??? Career choices are pretty limited for 2 foot high guys with pointed ears and horrible fashion sense. Other than cleaning gum out from under cafeteria tables without bending down or midget porn, they're pretty much out of luck.

With these thoughts in mind, Merry Christmas from the Wise Lemur and to all a good day filled with family, friends and as much booze as you need to tolerate both.

Does This Make Me a Bad Person?...

So, I'm sitting here contemplating the meaning of life, the existence of God or a godlike being and why more restaurants don't have Twinkies on the desert menu. My roommate is prepping for a trip to Florida for the holidays and then some and she goes to the salon to get her hair done. She returns to the house after better than 3 hours there and I say to her, "So what happened? Did they cancel your appointment?".

Does this make me a bad person?...I think not.

The dog is crashed out on the floor a few feet away and every once in awhile I get the "look. The look that says, "If you don't stop making noise with the frigging computer, I'm going to shit in your shoes while you sleep, you son of a bitch!" He's a good dog for the most part and rarely messes anything up but God forbid you forget to give him a friggin Milk Bone every hour or so. He starts acting like a junkie, pacing back and forth and muttering under his breath about "needing his fix." I don't always give them to him as he's getting fat from little exercise but I do occasionally like to mess with him and set one on the chair arm and make him wait..his tail wagging like it's going to snap off.

Does this make me a bad person?...I think not.

Well, I believe it's time for me to stop all this thinking as I feel the headache coming on. Stress is the number one killer of lemurs and this lemur feels it frequently of late. Think it's time to crank up the grill at 1:30 in the afternoon, open a beer and mess with the local wildlife by putting out bird food they don't like because I have a 50lb bag of it and I ain't throwing it away.

Does this make me a bad person?...I think not.

The One That Got Away...

Here I sit, fondly remembering a love from my past. She was incredibly beautiful, smart, funny and talented. We had some of the best times in my life and I know there is no way I will ever forget them. She was the kind of person you search for your entire life and some people never find.

After we parted ways many years ago, I always thought about her and probably quite a bit more that would have been considered healthy. I once even had a dream that she had been injured years later and actually pulled up the courage to call her parents to see if she was ok. Thank God, my dreams mean little to nothing in the bigger scheme of things and she was just fine.

While I'm not the biggest fan on the planet of Facebook, I do maintain a page. On a whim and through another friend's page, I had looked her up and saw that she too had a page. I sent a message to her with a friend request, to simply say hello and inquire if all was well. The reply was short and courteous but not much else and we never messaged again.

That was quite awhile back and as she has her page on private and out of respect for her, I never requested to be her friend there again. I did however, pull up the page occasionally and the picture was always the same. Her, at her job, back to the camera and doing what she loved to do.

Well, yesterday while cruising pages on Facebook, I ran across her name again. I clicked on the page to see a new picture and it truly sunk in. It is a picture of a stunning beautiful bride, looking the way she did years ago, a minister and the guy who was lucky enough to capture her heart. I wish them all the best and I know now that the one that got away, that once in a lifetime chance, is truly gone.

R.I.P. My Old Friend

Today marks the passing of a very dear friend of mine. I have known him for some 3 years now and it saddens me to no end that he is gone. We went through some serious times together and some fun ones too. We have traveled the country together, sharing experiences and adventures. With his help, I have gotten jobs, met good friends and enriched my life more than I can say. So for now, I bid him farewell and good voyage to the great beyond.



Goodbye my old friend...you will be missed.

Yet another brilliant move by the U.S. Government...

The newest bit of idiocy from the FDA and the US Government is to put pictures of cancer victims and diseased body parts on cigarette packages. There have been many, many moronic ideas implemented to slow or curb the sale of items in this country but this one by far has to be the stupidest. This is going to have the complete opposite effect they are looking for, without a doubt.

To begin with, the one audience, children and teens, they are trying to deter from buying cigarettes are going to flock en mass to buy these once these new packages are released. They are effectively turning them into collector's items by altering the packages in this fashion. Children who never smoked will want these to show off to their friends as being "cool" and they will find a way to buy them.

Secondly, the idea that this will stop anyone from buying them or smoking is flat out ludicrous. People will not stop using a product simply because the packaging has been changed. What this will do is increase sales from China of cigarette cases and holders into the US.

The warnings that are on tobacco packages already are quite sufficient to notify the user of the potential dangers. Anyone who has smoked for any period of time knows the risks and dangers of lighting up. If the government feels the need to put glaring warnings on products for public use, they should not discriminate.

Let them post pictures on the side of luxury cars of crashes and mangled bodies. Let's start seeing pictures of exploded hearts on energy drink cans, exercise equipment and on the walls of the local gyms. Donut boxes and candy wrappers should sport pictures of rotted teeth and gums along with containers of fat sucked out after a liposuction procedure.

There is a risk in everything we do as individuals. The majority of us are thinking adults who are quite capable of making our own decisions based on facts. The last thing we need as a people is someone posting pictures like we are morons who can't read a simple statement. This insult to our intelligence is by far more degrading than the fact that the American public helped put these people in power. However, not by much.

Be Yourself

Been thinking on this for awhile and decided to put it in writing to be saved for posterity’s sake. My office is pretty much my living room and my office chair is my recliner. The 42” flat screen is on constantly for background noise while I work so I get to see quite a bit of TV during the day which translates in too hundreds of commercials a day.

I’m seeing more and more commercials that are enabling women in particular, multiple ways to alter their appearance without surgery. They have bras that give them a whole new chest and drawers that push their ass up and out so it looks like you could rest a beer on it. There’s make up that is intended to make them look more “natural”, even though removing it would take a paint scraper most days and snap on teeth to cover that gap for a “perfect smile.”

Fellas, when you go to the club or the bar and you see the hotties that abound like so many nerds at a Star Trek convention….Beware! They have so many products out there that likely what you’re looking at is using one or more of these accessories to ensure that they snare whatever they are looking for. The best accessory for guys ever invented was the rolled up sock for God’s sake…they give us very little in the competition end of things.

Gentleman, this little bit is meant as a friendly word of warning. There are women out there deceiving all of us with padding and restrictive garments. Because at the end of the day, when all the fancy clothes and removable accessories come off and the real person is there for all to see, you may just end up with this:

Genetic Experiments Must Be Stopped!!!

Day Nine and Ten...Consolidated

Well, the fun is over..sort of...After two grueling days at the cash tables and quite a bit of bad luck, I am now officially broke..lol. But all is not lost as while I played on the ten dollars, I was able to accumulate 166 Player Points, which can be used to buy into other tournaments and satellites to larger games. i will use these for this and see where they take me. If anything of note does happen, I will post the results here.

However, for ten days, I had quite a bit of fun playing on someone elses dime for a change. Check back for further updates and any other nonsense I deem necessary to post. GL all.

Day 8....Like Butta....

On a roll....lol...played 2 cash sessions and have increased the bankroll to an even $28.00. for those following, the cash sessions I have played so far are strictly Limit 5 Card Draw at the $0.25/.50 limit. While the game itself is fairly easy as opposed to a game like Omaha Hi/Lo, it still has its moments where player reads can mean the difference between stealing and outright winning with a sub-par hand.

I took a shot at a small buy in, $1.10, 5 Card tournament and didn't do so well but overall with the cash play, ending on a very nice little up note for the day. As I will continue to say, there's always tomorrow. Until next time, Good Luck and Great Cards.