About Me

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Las Cruces, NM, United States
I am an avid sci-fi/horror/fantasy fan along with being a Right To Eat Animals activist, target shooter and general know it all with a little information about a lot of subjects which makes me slightly dangerous.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Horror and Sci-Fi Movie Formulas and Fables...

As an avid horror and sci-fi movie buff, I see quite a few movies over the course of a week. Some are new and some are old favorites but they all have a few things in common that make them blend together into one huge lump. The writers of these scripts have seen the exact same movies as I have and simply cannot seem to expand their thought processes past the "formulas" that worked in the past. Here are a few thoughts on this from my end.

1: "The Black Guy Always Dies First": This little tidbit has been used so much that some movies even poke fun at this plot line before they actually kill them off. They need to start killing off one of the cute chicks first just to throw in a curve ball once in awhile. The whiny one one is always a good start in my book.

2: "The First To Die": Always seems to be one of the girls. Quit killing off the one with the biggest boobs, go for the one with the glasses, 3 layers of clothing and the backpack full of books that really didn't want to be there in the first place. Kill the boobs, kill the movie as the majority of male viewers will not bother to stick around after she's dead to see if she ends up in a bikini or shower scene before being brutally butchered.

3: "Spare The Child": There is always a little kid in these things that manages to escape a bloody end where all those around them are dying like flies at a frog festival. "Feast" took this to a new level when the boy gets eaten right at the outset of the movie. Kudos to the writers on that one as they just tend to whine, cry and scream a lot while the killer is busy dismembering Mom anyway.

4: "The Unlikely Hero/Heroine": For once, I would like to see the guy or girl with the balls at the outset actually make it through the movie as the winner. Quit picking the mousy one or the geek to save the day. The odds of this actually happening in a real situation are as unlikely as a high school chess club winning the Superbowl.

5: "Dress For Success": The wardrobe people work very hard on a film set to aid the actor in fitting their part. Why is it though that lately, every movie I see involving a female scientist has them in a tank top. No offense to the scientific community but let's be a little more realistic in this vein. Most female scientists do NOT have the body of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and the addition of a bit more realism may keep some of the chuckles down when she actually says something intelligent during the movie.

6: "Armed And Dangerous": People are dying all around and the hero or heroine finally gets the upper hand on the killer by whacking them in the head with the only shovel for a hundred miles. Now, the killer has been stabbed, shot, hit by a car and fell out of a two-story window by this point and just keeps coming. So why, oh why, do they think that one whack on the head is going to keep him down forever and throw the friggin' shovel away??? The same goes for finding the only gun in the place, firing one shot into the would be monster and setting the gun down to check on a fallen comrade and leaving it there. One phrase people..."Coup de Grace", lop his friggin' head off with the business end of that shovel for God's sake.

7: "Knowledge Is Power": Common sense rarely prevails in horror and sci-fi movie scripts. This is okay though, it does make them more entertaining but some of the plot twists are simply too stupid for words. Don't open the friggin' door when there is a suspected serial killer in the area. Don't open the kitchen cabinet door when there are scratching noises coming from inside and if there is a green glow emanating from the underside of the bedroom door...go the other freaking way! While these do make the movie more fun to watch, a thinking hero or heroine might make the real twists that much more believable.

I realize that some of the things I mentioned here will never change and that's okay. They have worked for this long, so why fix something if it is not broken? We live in a society with a much higher range of intelligence than 60 years ago when horror and sci-fi was just getting off the ground. It is time the writers stepped up to our level by incorporating a few more intelligent plot twists into these movies. A hero that keeps the gun in hand or one that actually checks to see if the killer is really dead on occasion might be nice and there is nothing wrong with some gratuitous nudity or a cheesy two headed alien either.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Water for Elephants...and Hay...and Grain...and Everything Else...

I severely dislike ignorance before I've had my first pot of coffee for the day so I felt the need to put this out there. Hollywood's newest release, Water for Elephants, is out now and I was just reading a small bit over on Yahoo regarding "Taj", the elephant used for the movie. The comments from the so called "animal lovers" that decried the use of her for the film and how poorly show animals are treated are fucking laughable.

This is a subject near and dear to my heart as in my younger years, I had the incredible opportunity to travel with circuses around the country in many capacities including working with a wide variety of exotic animals. To the morons that believe that for one second, these animals get mistreated as a rule, I say...Go Fuck Yourselves, You Clueless Morons!

The majority if not all of the show animals out there, whether in Hollywood or on circuses were BORN in captivity, not brought over from Africa or Asia in the prime of their lives and "forced" into performing. They are raised by the trainer from a very young age and treated as a member of the family. They are given the best medical care money can buy along with being fed and housed year round and protected from anything and everything, much as a parent would do for a young child.

I personally know Buckles Woodcock, Benny Williams, John Marone and Mike Stone, just to name a few of the great elephant trainers I have met over the years. These men care as much for their elephants as they do for their own families and would NEVER allow harm to come to them. The elephants also have their own way of handling being mistreated.

I know of one instance where a groom with little experience was working near an elephant and had occasion to hit her with a shovel out of spite. Well, the saying is quite true that "an elephant never forgets" as months later, he was around her and she pulled the stake that had her on the line. She chased him around the trailer she was in front of, pinned him to it and broke his arm. He never hit her again nor any of the others to the best of my knowledge.

Elephants are probably one of the most royally treated of the show animals as they are more easily approached by humans. I have had the occasion to give an elephant a pedicure, a bath and even a haircut in my years on the road. They are staked out and chained while touring not to protect humans from them but to protect them from humans.

To the dullards who think that show animals are abused and held against their will..please look at your own life. You think you have freedom and they don't? You are chained to a job, taxes and responsibility whereas they work about two hours a day and have all their needs met in return with no worries at all by a bevy of grooms, family members and owners.

Before you go spewing off your rhetoric about "how bad their life must be", try living around them for a few years. I guarantee your tune will change.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Finally some good news...


Looks like the DOJ figured out how many US online poker player really got hurt when Black Friday hit. They are re-opening the .com domains for Full Tilt Poker and Poker Stars to facilitate the players getting their funds returned to them. While this does nothing to forward the legalization of online poker we all hope for, at least it's a start.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Black Friday for Online Poker Players

Thanks to the infinite wisdom of the US Gov't and the F.B.I., today will be forever known as the "Black Friday" of online poker. 11 indictments were handed down today against the owners of the "Big Three' poker websites (PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker and Ultimate Bet/Absolute Poker)and all funds for American players frozen. Not only can the players not continue to pursue their hobby or livelihood but they cannot ever get to their own money.

We can only hope that the websites find a solution to allowing players to at least get back what they have online even if play gets stopped completely. There are literally millions upon millions of dollars in online poker accounts and many players pay their bills with these funds. The audacity of this action against the American people is deplorable.

How dare the US Gov't and it's minions tell taxpaying citizens what they can and cannot with their own money? The government gets more than its fair share from each and every one of them and still feels the need for more. This is bullshit, plain and simple.

Had they bothered to regulate Internet gaming last year when the bill came up, this would all be a non-issue. People can still gamble every day without leaving the comfort of their homes. There are websites that allow folks to invest in stocks...which is a gamble online. They can go to their local convenience store and blow their whole check on lottery tickets if they so desire.

Most people live close enough to go to a local casino and lose their home and this is seen as ok by many...as long as the government gets their cut in taxes. New York has OTB...Florida has dog tracks...Kentucky has horse racing...all of these are just fine..if that's they way you want to lose your money. Poker, whether online or live is NOT GAMBLING as there is a level of skill involved.

Slot machines are gambling, roulette is gambling and blackjack is gambling because the player has no effect on the outcome where in poker, it is the PLAYER that makes the choices of what to play and when. While the cards being shuffled do add the element of chance into the game, ultimately it falls to the player whether or not to play their hand and whether or not they can outright beat or bluff their opponent. Poker is a psychological game of cards, not just putting your money up and hoping the outcome is in your favor.

With any luck, this action will propel the US Gov't into making a real decision on the fate of online poker. The players will unite against the powers that be and their voice will be heard. Whether the officials in DC like it or not.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Back in the Saddle Again...lol

To those few that bother to read this little disaster...I'm back! Been concentrating way too much on work and not enough on having some fun so need to change that. I'll be posting here weekly from now on with little bits of things that may or may not be relevant to anything either real or imagined.